Adjusting Your Life Podcast Ep 109: Cracks, Myths, and the Method (What Dr. Steve Actually Does)
The primary focus of this podcast episode is the deconstruction of the prevalent myth surrounding chiropractic care, particularly the common misconception that "bone cracking" equates to effective treatment. We delve into the intricate physiological processes occurring during adjustments, revealing that the audible sound often associated with these interventions does not necessarily correlate with the efficacy of the care provided. Furthermore, we explore the holistic impact of chiropractic treatment, elucidating how it extends beyond mere spinal adjustments to influence overall bodily health.
Our discussion emphasizes the importance of individualized care, highlighting the necessity for tailored treatments that acknowledge the unique physiological and emotional needs of each patient. By fostering a deeper understanding of these elements, we aim to empower listeners to appreciate the comprehensive nature of chiropractic practice and its potential to promote wellness. The discourse presented in this episode elucidates the often-misunderstood practice of chiropractic care, focusing primarily on the phenomenon popularly referred to as 'bone cracking'.
Contrary to common belief, the sound that accompanies an adjustment is not indicative of the efficacy of the procedure but rather a byproduct of the release of gas from the synovial fluid in the joints. Dr. Steve Ward expertly navigates this topic by emphasizing that the therapeutic benefits of chiropractic adjustments are not solely linked to the audible 'crack', but rather depend on the restoration of balance and proper alignment in the musculoskeletal system. Throughout this segment, he advocates for a more nuanced understanding of how adjustments facilitate healing, regardless of whether there is an audible sound during the process. In addition to addressing the misconceptions surrounding the auditory aspect of chiropractic adjustments, the discussion expands to encompass the holistic impact of chiropractic care on the body.
Dr. Ward articulates that chiropractic adjustments are not limited to the spine; rather, they can yield significant improvements in various bodily functions, including those related to the nervous system and overall physical health. By restoring spinal alignment, chiropractic care can positively influence the body's ability to heal, thereby enhancing overall well-being. This segment underscores the importance of viewing chiropractic care through a comprehensive lens, recognizing its potential to benefit the entire body rather than merely targeting localized pain or discomfort.
Furthermore, the episode delves into the individualization of care, emphasizing the principle that a one-size-fits-all approach is inadequate in the context of chiropractic treatment. Dr. Ward elaborates on his methodology of customizing care based on the unique needs and patterns of each patient, taking into account their medical history, emotional state, and physical condition. This personalized approach not only enhances the efficacy of treatments but also fosters a deeper connection between practitioner and patient, ultimately leading to more successful health outcomes.
By prioritizing individualized care, Dr. Ward advocates for a chiropractic practice that is sensitive to the diverse needs of patients, thereby promoting a more effective healing journey. In conclusion, this episode serves as an informative exploration of chiropractic care, dispelling prevalent myths while highlighting its multifaceted benefits. Dr. Steve Ward's insights provide valuable perspectives on the importance of understanding the intricacies of chiropractic adjustments, the holistic impact on bodily health, and the necessity of customizing care to meet individual patient needs. This discourse not only enlightens listeners about the science behind chiropractic practice but also encourages a more informed approach to health and wellness.
Takeaways:
- During chiropractic adjustments, the sound produced does not determine the effectiveness of the treatment.
- Chiropractic care influences not only the spine but also the overall health of the entire body.
- It is crucial to customize chiropractic care to suit the individual needs of each patient.
- A patient's fear or resistance to adjustments can stem from deeper emotional or behavioral issues.
- Understanding the connection between emotional health and physical alignment can enhance the healing process.
- Self-care practices are essential for maintaining a healthy body and mind throughout life.
Transcript
This program is for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only.
Speaker A:The information provided in this podcast reflects the opinions and experiences of the hosts and is not medical or mental health advice.
Speaker A:Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any questions about your health or well being.
Speaker A:If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, contact your local emergency services.
Speaker B:Self care is so important and because I come from this process of love for me every day, that my love for me never changes.
Speaker B:But she was able to frame it in a different way so I could go even deeper into a healing process.
Speaker B:It's interesting how the strongest women, the women that are not really afraid of anything, might be afraid of an adjustment.
Speaker C:Welcome back to the Adjusting youg Life podcast.
Speaker C:I'm Kennedy and I'm here with Dr. Steve.
Speaker C:This is episode 109, Cracks, Myth and the Method.
Speaker D:This episode of the Adjusting youg Life podcast is brought to you by Ward Chiropractic.
Speaker D:Dr. Steve finds what most doctors miss and his wall adjustment technique.
Speaker D:It can bring fast relief.
Speaker D:Check out chiroman.com for hours location and to contact the clinic.
Speaker D:That's Chiroman.
Speaker D:C-H I R O M A N.com.
Speaker C:Dr. Steve yes, let's talk about the sound and adjustment makes and the correlation to the effectiveness.
Speaker B:Well, sometimes when I do an adjustment, we get a great release, so we hear a big sound.
Speaker B:And other times when I give an adjustment, we don't hear much of a sound at all.
Speaker B:But even in cases where the body is not making a loud sound, it doesn't mean that the force that we're putting into the body isn't starting the healing process.
Speaker B:So there are people that I go to adjust and they haven't been adjusted for years and their body's really guarded.
Speaker B:And so I put in an adjustment and then what occurs is not much of a release is heard, but then I bring them back and the shoulder that was in imbalance is balanced.
Speaker B:And, and so even when a big adjustment's not heard, it doesn't mean that the force isn't beginning the process to bring balance back into the person.
Speaker B:And when we bring a person back into balance, we're restoring a healthier spine.
Speaker B:And so in most cases we are pretty good releases.
Speaker B:But there are cases that are the person is more guarded, they maybe have had difficulty being released.
Speaker B:And in those cases we still see benefit even if it takes a little time for a release to be heard.
Speaker C:Okay, so for a patient that doesn't have a sound, is there a correlation between someone that is in resistance to being adjusted and whether There's a sound.
Speaker B:Or not so often when we're not hearing a big release, it's because the body is overly inflamed, the person's in over defense.
Speaker B:And that can be behavioral, but it could also be a factor of a person being fearful about getting adjusted.
Speaker C:Okay, so if you feel that someone is fearful of being adjusted, how would you approach that patient?
Speaker B:Well, it's interesting.
Speaker B:My most prominent patient is women.
Speaker B:And I have more women who are left curvature than right.
Speaker B:And so when we do an adjustment on them, so oftentimes that initial adjustment could be guarded.
Speaker B:But it's interesting how the strongest women, the women that are not really afraid of anything, might be afraid of an adjustment because they're used to being in control.
Speaker B:And when they're having to give up control, that can be a fearful thing.
Speaker B:So so often with women who are strong and more dominant, they have a fear of the unknown.
Speaker B:And so once they experience the treatment, the fear of the unknown is now gone.
Speaker B:And they're like, oh, that wasn't so bad, or wow, I feel so much better.
Speaker B:And so it's just really interesting because when I have people who sit in my waiting room and they come with someone and they're thinking that they may be open to getting an adjustment, that when I come at them with, well, what the issue is is you have a fear of the unknown because you want to know your outcome.
Speaker B:And when you don't know your outcome, there's some fear in that.
Speaker B:But once a person experiences a treatment, that fear will naturally go away and it goes away very quickly.
Speaker C:So you said that women are your or primarily your patient.
Speaker C:You see more women than men.
Speaker C:Why do you think that is?
Speaker B:Well, I think that we live in a culture where women are overdoing and they're over pushing and they're taking on too much and they may see their value in the load they burden and they may feel as if the more they do, the more valuable they are.
Speaker B:And but the numbers don't lie.
Speaker B:I get more female patients than I get male patients.
Speaker B:They tend to, when they have an issue, take better care of themselves, be more open to receiving care.
Speaker B:And whereas I do have men that are really good at going into a treatment program and receiving care.
Speaker B:However, a lot of men that I see come in, in an acute problem, they bent over and picked up a Kleenex off the ground.
Speaker B:All of a sudden their back goes out and they are in a lot of pain.
Speaker B:And so I do think that we just need to help encourage people, both male and Female to get into a self care process, to not go through your whole life withholding care from you actually get into self care.
Speaker B:For instance, I like doing about four and a half hours of massage every week for myself.
Speaker B:I get adjusted every week.
Speaker B:I do energy work.
Speaker B:I have an amazing energy healer that works with me and does amazing work to really help me to unlock some of the stress and the hidden stressors that I may be experiencing.
Speaker B:It's hard for me to put into words her gift because she's super gifted person has helped me tremendously and you know, my first really amazing experience with me.
Speaker B:She brought up some information that I really didn't see even with the awareness I have and it was really helpful.
Speaker B:She, she brought up a issue with a past relationship that had some wound in and the time frame it was, that was interesting.
Speaker B:And then she brought up some wound that I had with my father that I didn't see because my father and I were so close and, and we had such an amazing relationship.
Speaker B:But she was able to frame it in a different way so I could go even deeper into a healing process.
Speaker B:So you know, it's self care is so important and because I come from this process of love for me every day that my love for me never changes.
Speaker B:When life gets challenging, I meet it with love.
Speaker B:When life is really effortless, I meet it with love.
Speaker B:Love is neutral, it's not conditional.
Speaker B:And so I'm so committed, especially coming out of the trail trauma I have where I really injured my back.
Speaker B:And without these wonderful healers in my life, along with our massage therapist here who's super gifted, these people have combined to help restore me and help me to become a healthier version of me and to help put some of this chronicity of my problems from that really severe fall to at least make it a lot easier for me to navigate with all the physical work that I do.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:Yeah, that's great.
Speaker C:I have a team of people too that are in my life that apart from obviously the work that we do, you know, the energy healing and emotional clearing and life coaching and all of that.
Speaker C:So those have come along the way of, of me taking care of myself and doing things for myself so that I can be better prepared to be all the, you know, the hats that I wear in my life.
Speaker B:So sure, it's just a journey of realizing that we're valuable, that we're important, that we are worth the self care that that's an important part of a healthy life and growing into a healthy place within yourself is that you're you're not just getting care when you have a problem, but you're getting care as a way to represent the love you hold for yourself and the value that's within you.
Speaker B:And we all need coaches, we need a great chiropractor, we need a great body worker, we need great energy worker and many other things.
Speaker B:I also have a lab that, you know, works with some powerful technologies that I've incorporated.
Speaker B:When I broke my back and I was able to get BPC157 injections, which really took away the bilateral.
Speaker B:I had sciatica in both legs for years from breaking some of the vertebrae in my lower back on that fall.
Speaker B:And so without my team, would I even be here?
Speaker B:And of course, the importance also is having a mindset of healing and a mindset that we're always looking to give ourselves the gifts from other people that they can bring into your life that helps you live your best life.
Speaker B:And that's what my goal is.
Speaker B:And especially when you have challenge.
Speaker B:Without the team of people, I don't know what would have happened to me.
Speaker B:But it did start with my mindset of knowing that I could heal, I was open to heal.
Speaker B:And then the reality, initially when I broke my back, I was doing five, two hour massages a week.
Speaker B: hat I experienced in March of: Speaker C:Yeah, that's great.
Speaker C:We'll be right back.
Speaker C:Welcome back, Dr. Steve.
Speaker C:Let's talk about the myths in chiropractic care and how you do things your way.
Speaker B:Well, I grew up with my dad who went to Palmer College, and he came out of school and he wanted to look for evidence to support that his chiropractic was effective.
Speaker B:So he started taking standing front and side view full spine X rays and he would measure the spine and then after a series of adjustments, he would take a new set of full spine X rays and he would compare the measurements to see if the spine was improving, if it didn't change or if it had worsened.
Speaker B:And so often we look at a subluxation of a vertebra that the vertebra misaligns and may impinge on a nerve.
Speaker B:And then we do an adjustment and we restore more normal function in that joint.
Speaker B:As I have gone through my experience as a chiropractor growing up in a different realm, because I had a father that was looking at his chiropractic work systemically or holistically, not Segmentally and really looking for objective evidence to support the effectiveness of his treatment.
Speaker B:I've grown up with this awareness that people have patterns, people have curvature, and people have mild curvature, Some have severe curvature, and some have degenerative curvature.
Speaker B:But what all people have is spinal patterns, which from our perspective, is indicating behavioral influence.
Speaker B:So if I'm looking at a male who is female influence, we see right curvature.
Speaker B:When we see women who say their fathers were absent and their mother was dominant, they maybe seeked approval from a dominant female, and they may be in right curvature looking for that approval.
Speaker B:And so to me, there's a lot of really gifted chiropractors, and there's a lot of things going on in chiropractic that I haven't personally experienced.
Speaker B:However, I've heard good things about many different techniques that are used in chiropractic.
Speaker B:I may not use them, but my life was changed by a chiropractor who didn't have awareness of multigenerational behavior.
Speaker B:They came out of school because he loved it and he believed in it, and he believed that he could do an adjustment and restore health.
Speaker B:And in my life, if I'm not getting adjusted when I'm in the incubator, I'm not here today.
Speaker B:If I wasn't getting adjusted when I came down with the Hong Kong flu by not not just my dad, but other chiropractors that my dad saw, it's very effective, and they did things differently, you know, I maybe would have never walked.
Speaker B:So what we need to understand is there are people on this planet that have gifts, that were given gifts, and they are really doing some wonderful work, and they're really healing people.
Speaker B:And our work is just looking at healing the behavioral wounds of things.
Speaker B:And by shifting the behavior, we shift the spinal patterns, we store a healthier energy, we help people to stay in better balance, and we help people to understand that they don't have to be stuck with the problem that just the most severe problems with proper care and with a gifted chiropractor, so often it's going to result in, you know, an effective solution.
Speaker B:So I just love chiropractic, and I have a love for it.
Speaker B:I, I, I'm also a person that is open to other people's gifts that I don't see myself is a person that knows everything.
Speaker B:I know some things and which is awesome.
Speaker B:However, I'm always looking to grow, evolve.
Speaker B:I'm always looking to gain awareness.
Speaker B:I stay out of ego.
Speaker B:I stay in ego strength.
Speaker B:I don't want to come across As I know it all.
Speaker B:And I don't want to make someone feel as if they don't know, like, I know more than they know your gift.
Speaker B:A lot of people are gifted.
Speaker B:Some people take on healing more as a business and, you know, and they may get some results as well.
Speaker B:I tend to see my results every day through the work that I'm doing.
Speaker B:And I'm always supportive of my profession as a whole because I think the work that the founder of chiropractic began, Dee Palmer, and then his son, the developer chiropractic, BJ Palmer did, was a beautiful legacy.
Speaker B:And I'm just so thankful that I'm part of this greater picture of great healers for so many years.
Speaker B: Chiropractic began in: Speaker B:And so since then, people have been impacted by chiropractic and they have restored health and energy and people had diseases that improved.
Speaker B:And so I just see it.
Speaker B:I take on about any kind of case, and even when I don't know, even if I've never worked on the case, I feel that there's something that I can give to the person in challenge that can help them to reframe their health and to have a more complete life and a more abundant life.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:So you mentioned something about an adjustment and then the curvature.
Speaker C:So do you want to elaborate on how the adjustment could alleviate maybe the temporary pain or temporarily alleviate something, whereas, like, the curvature is not changing unless they have the awareness.
Speaker B:I find that adjustments are wonderful.
Speaker B:We can balance a body.
Speaker B:We can take a person who's dropping in their shoulder, or we can take a person who has a significant short leg and in less than two minutes, balance that person.
Speaker B:I find that when we want to change curvature in people, behavioral influence in people, uh, that those changes are going to take place through awareness, through gaining a higher level of emotional intelligence, learning how to manage our emotions, if I'm right, curvature learning when my best is good enough, learning how to self validate, how to self encourage, how to self approve, how to recognize that it's intentional.
Speaker B:And when a person gives their best intention to close the loop instead of looking outside from people that you think are going to be a life preserver for you.
Speaker B:Because sometimes the people closest to us that we think will support us when we're struggling are people that actually pull us under when we're struggling.
Speaker B:And so I just think that that's a powerful awareness that you know, to be mindful of those around you and be mindful if they've done work and if they've Restored health.
Speaker B:And if they've shifted inherited behaviors and came up with new behavioral programs.
Speaker B:And to me, that's what it's all about.
Speaker B:When I worked with you and I started and we took your X rays and you had that severe right curvature, and I said, wow, you're being triggered to be reactive emotionally.
Speaker B:And how that related too early on in your life and how when your mom would do certain things, how it triggering you anger, instead of you internalizing, processing and denying it, you would.
Speaker B:You would react in it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then how we.
Speaker B:I coach you, and then the next set you went into, from this major right curvature to almost perfectly straight and just slightly left.
Speaker B:So you were learning how to regulate emotions and.
Speaker B:And how to not be triggered so frequently.
Speaker B:It doesn't mean you don't get triggered, but you get out of your triggers much faster today than ever before in your life.
Speaker B:And you let go of these traumas quicker.
Speaker B:And your body is showing how a pattern of influence changed.
Speaker B:Not really through treatment, because I really didn't treat you a whole bunch of.
Speaker B:Yeah, it was more through awareness that was given to you and the coaching that I was able to give to you.
Speaker B:And so it's very exciting.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:My, My reactiveness is so much less than it used to be and not just over time.
Speaker C:A natural progression.
Speaker C:A natural progression of not reacting and not that I had to try not to react.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And once you really get what I'm communicating, there's really no reason to react.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:If someone's just wounded and they're transferring a wound that occurred before you, why would you need to react when that projection takes place?
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So I think that's so powerful to become aware of, you know, learning that, like my brain says, when something comes up and I could coach or say something, my first question is, how open is the person to hearing it?
Speaker B:How likely are they going to take what I'm giving them and work on that?
Speaker B:If the answers are not open and they're not willing to work on it, then I may choose to go silent instead of putting out energy that.
Speaker B:Why would I use all this energy if there's zero openness to even, you know, being open to hearing it?
Speaker B:And so that's where learning to be more stoic, learning to not bite on every situation that happens.
Speaker B:Like the wife that's crying and the husband that wants to fix it.
Speaker B:And when they feel they can't fix it, then they.
Speaker B:They can't allow the wife who's crying to release the hurt, you know, and it's it's just so important that we.
Speaker B:That we work through these issues so that people can be heard.
Speaker B:Because just because someone is upset doesn't mean that they're upset because of you.
Speaker B:With me and my pattern being right, curve, when someone was upset early on, I thought, oh, it's because of me you're upset.
Speaker B:But now, as I grow in my life, when someone isn't talking, I may not talk until they're talking.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I'll just be silent there.
Speaker B:And I'm not going to come from the program that was impacted, how I was impacted, to be like, what's wrong?
Speaker B:How can I fix it?
Speaker B:How can I save you?
Speaker B:So that's been a major change for me in my life, is that I look at that differently now.
Speaker B:And so when someone's having a problem, I'm not jumping out and saying, hey, I'm not assuming it's about me, number one.
Speaker B:And I'm not going to come at it the same way.
Speaker B:And I'm not going to hit dysfunction with empathy.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I'm not.
Speaker B:I'm not.
Speaker B:I'm a high empath.
Speaker B:But I. I've learned that when you're in empathy, there should be some reciprocity.
Speaker C:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker B:And if I'm a high empath and someone takes, you know, me saving, but then when I have a challenge, they're not reciprocating.
Speaker B:It's like, I could have someone in my life and they say, oh, my back's hurting.
Speaker B:Okay, let me rub your back.
Speaker B:And then I could say, my back's hurting.
Speaker B:They say, well, don't you have massage therapists?
Speaker B:That's the difference between someone who adds empathy and no.
Speaker B:And no empathy.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So, wow, you know, so powerful.
Speaker C:Very.
Speaker B:To learn, you know, silence and.
Speaker B:And learn to not personalize and learn.
Speaker B:That wound is multigenerational, and people are wounded before the projection.
Speaker B:And so it's not every time someone transfers and an opportunity to lose regulation, to take it personally, to be impacted, to have that impact last for a long period of time.
Speaker B:People I coach have learned to respond, and they have come through where they used to react so intensely over things.
Speaker B:Now they may react, but they're in and out of it in 15 minutes instead of all day and all day and the next day and for a week.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker C:So anyway, well, all of that was great information.
Speaker C:I think we can revisit a few things next segment.
Speaker C:So we'll be right back.
Speaker D:This episode of the Adjusting youg Life podcast is brought to you by Ward chiropractic for over 30 years, Dr. Steve Ward has been helping people get to the root cause of their pain.
Speaker D:He's a second generation chiropractor who lives looks at the whole spine, not just the sore spot.
Speaker D:With standing and seated full spine X rays, Dr. Steve finds what most doctors miss.
Speaker D:And his wall adjustment technique, it can bring fast relief, back pain, sports injuries.
Speaker D:Check out chiroman.com for hours location and to contact the clinic or stop by Ward Chiropractic Family center today.
Speaker D:Mention this ad and you'll get a free recheck two hours after your first adjustment.
Speaker D:That's Chiroman.
Speaker D:C-H-I-R-O-M-A-N.com for more info.
Speaker C:Welcome back.
Speaker C:So Dr. Steve, let's talk about customizing care and when patients come in.
Speaker C:And I mean I've noticed that you do different things with different patients.
Speaker C:How do you make that determination when a patient comes in, what care you're going to offer them?
Speaker B:I have an approach that I have found works and I pretty much offer it to every person.
Speaker B:So they come in, I assess them, I want to see where they are in pattern.
Speaker B:I feel their body to see where they're holding stress in their body because I'll feel stress in their body.
Speaker B:But they may be like I might feel right sided shoulder blade stress but they're coming in with left side of pain.
Speaker B:But when filling the body it feels like the right's way more severe than left.
Speaker B:Well, why would that be?
Speaker B:Well, the left's hurting because they're putting too much load on themselves.
Speaker B:They're pushing through their life mentally, whereas the right may be relative to high expectations in their childhood with a dominant female that they've kind of, you know, it's been there their whole life.
Speaker B:So they have adapted to it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so I want to check posture, I want to feel the body as to what, where they're holding stress.
Speaker B:I want to listen to the patient as to why they're there and why, what do they need me to repair?
Speaker B:And so that's why all components are very important because I may feel the body and say, oh well all these ribs are out on the right.
Speaker B:And then they'll say but my pain's all on the left.
Speaker B:And so then it's like, okay, so that just tells me that this pain on the right they've had there throughout their life and they've adapted to it even though it indicates more significance.
Speaker B:Their current issue is about load, their burdening.
Speaker B:And so when I take into consideration those components, then the journey is to bring them into balance.
Speaker B:And then the journey is to help them to understand what's going to pull them out of balance.
Speaker C:Okay?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because if we see a pattern, we know that there's a stress and that stress is resulting in this imbalance.
Speaker B:And then if we can give them awareness as to why they're holding stress there and then I can give them an adjustment and bring you into balance and then I can give them some wisdom as to how to look at that stressful situation differently.
Speaker B:Then what you see is they come in with like maybe a 2 inch short leg and then a week later, 10 days later, they come back and they're balanced.
Speaker B:What did they get?
Speaker B:They got an adjustment, but they got awareness.
Speaker B:They started working on the issue and they start reframing that issue.
Speaker B:And now they're maintaining a balance because, oh, I'm going to learn to save energy.
Speaker B:My value is not in what I do, it's in who I am.
Speaker B:I'm going to save a whole bunch of energy.
Speaker B:If I need approval from wounded people and I'm not getting it, I'm not going to hold balance.
Speaker B:If I realize they're wounded and they can't give me what they never mastered and never received, then I can maintain balance.
Speaker B:So much of healing is about being open to listen intently and being able to give wisdom and then a great adjustment and then empower them to do things like love commands or embedded commands.
Speaker B:Getting in their mind that how they.
Speaker A:Were.
Speaker B:Programmed is not helping them to stay healthy.
Speaker B:To be the first person in their family to take a program they received and do it differently.
Speaker B:Instead of bonding with a program, staying asleep in your life, seeing your life through someone else's eyes.
Speaker B:And those eyes are multi generational and they're surrounded with a lot of fear and unreasonable expectations and yes, and maybe it's even your child and you're crying and your male dominant mother says don't cry.
Speaker B:And then you then attract a dominant wife where you might, the male might tear up during a movie and the wife doesn't, what are you doing?
Speaker B:Why are you crying?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And understanding the importance of being a clear communicator, understanding how vital it is that we are able to express truth in a relationship.
Speaker B:Because if I can't express truth, I don't have a relationship.
Speaker C:Right, right.
Speaker C:So my daughter, if I get emotional, my daughter doesn't know quite what to do.
Speaker C:She's, she doesn't have any empathy for me.
Speaker C:Why do you think that is?
Speaker B:I don't know where your daughter is today because all I've seen is her first set of X rays and we're going to get new set and I will be able to better answer that question.
Speaker B:But your daughter has a mixed pattern.
Speaker B:Last time we imaged her in one position standing, she was right leaning.
Speaker B:So she, you know, will want to fix.
Speaker B:When you're right, you want to fix it.
Speaker B:And when you don't know how to fix it, then you really don't want to even deal with it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:We see that all the time.
Speaker B:Because people want to fix a person's problem, but they're not the solution so often.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And your daughter was significantly left in curvature when she stood or when she sat, and she was significantly right in curvature when she stood up, but she was backward in curvature standing significantly, like we saw in all four of your sisters, or we haven't seen all four.
Speaker B:Three out of the four, which is a denial pattern.
Speaker B:So it's a conflict.
Speaker B:I feel.
Speaker B:Oh, you're being emotional.
Speaker B:I have this conflict.
Speaker B:It says, I don't know what to do to fix this situation.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But I have this denial pattern.
Speaker B:So I'm going to withdraw and I'm not going to.
Speaker C:I don't personalize it.
Speaker C:So that's.
Speaker C:But, yeah, we can.
Speaker C:Her second set of X rays is going to be interesting to see.
Speaker C:But I.
Speaker C:But in that moment, I mean, I could definitely decide to personalize it.
Speaker C:And so I just am emotional and my emotional part just plays out and with.
Speaker C:With nothing from my daughter, but I don't need something from my daughter.
Speaker C:I feel like it's kind of an interesting dynamic.
Speaker C:And I guess it happens more like if I get teary in the car about something or whatever.
Speaker C:And.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:And she's like, why are you.
Speaker C:Are you crying again?
Speaker C:You know, I know she doesn't know what to quite do with it.
Speaker C:And I mean, maybe it has something to do with seeing me as an authoritative parent most of her life, which is the pattern I was in.
Speaker B:And also she's got authority in her too, so there is conflict.
Speaker B:She's had hurt in her life that was internalized and she withdrew from the hurt.
Speaker B:And then in the one position she processes hurt.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:And it's difficult for her sometimes to express her hurt to certain people.
Speaker B:And so if it's difficult for her to express her hurt, don't you think it would be difficult for her to know what to do when you're hurt?
Speaker C:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker C:Absolutely.
Speaker C:But I think this is so important just because it's.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker C:It's so great for parents to have Information with their kids to understand behavior that they might feel like they want to correct or fix, but not.
Speaker C:Not from, like, the right reason, maybe.
Speaker C:And I don't.
Speaker C:I. I don't think she.
Speaker C:She's.
Speaker C:She lacks empathy.
Speaker C:Personally, for me, I think maybe just based on her pattern, she doesn't know how to.
Speaker B:Maybe.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, she may not know how to.
Speaker B:To express hurt when she feels hurt.
Speaker C:Right, Right.
Speaker B:And so then she can't be expected to be the parent.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:And she is just a young lady.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:That's growing every day.
Speaker B:But there are these patterns that get in the way.
Speaker B:And as you have grown in your health with your expectation or your unreasonable expectation that you came from.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker B:And how that unreasonable expectation could be pressed over onto your daughter.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker B:And I recall that session that I came over to coach your daughter, and I ended up coaching me, coaching you and.
Speaker B:And getting real clear on how amazing your daughter is and has been and will be.
Speaker B:And I've seen beautiful evolution in her.
Speaker B:But that is an issue, significant issue.
Speaker B:To learn to be open to being vulnerable and being able to hear someone who's struggling emotionally and just sit with it without thinking they need to fix it.
Speaker B:Right, Right, right.
Speaker B:Because so often that's the interpretation.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker B:Oh, someone's hurting, I need to come in and fix it.
Speaker B:And it's like, no, you know, they just are hurting.
Speaker B:And they need to have the space to release the emotion rather than deny the emotion.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker B:And because so much comes from denying emotion, so many problems come when we deny our hurt.
Speaker B:We're all vulnerable.
Speaker B:And it's different, of course, if you're backward and left in curve, because that's.
Speaker B:There's very little motion in that.
Speaker B:But if you're backward and right in curve, there is emotion in that.
Speaker B:If you're forward and right and curve, there's a lot of them.
Speaker B:That's all motion.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:But my experience is even the people that were back and left, they were hurt by something they got in the program and interpreted as to what they thought that meant.
Speaker B:Like, oh, because I wasn't a son, My father didn't come to my baseball game or soccer game or whatever it is.
Speaker B:But when you look deeper, you realize, oh, well, there's a wound in the father with a father that wasn't present and didn't know how to be there for the child.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:This is a very interesting communication, and a lot of people are dealing with these issues.
Speaker B:And as I see it, it's not our job to fix it with someone, and we can be open to support someone who is hurting.
Speaker B:And when we stay out of oh, that's about me or my values tied to whether or not I can fix it.
Speaker B:And if we stay out of those days dynamics, we're going to see healthier relationships, we're going to see healthier parents and children.
Speaker B:And because again, parents so often are wounded children.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:And then they have a child and then they transfer the generational wound onto their child.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And, and, and again, that's where the process starts.
Speaker B:But there is so much power to do it differently.
Speaker C:Thank you for joining us on the Adjusting youg Life podcast.
Speaker C:For more information about this episode, please visit the adjustingyourlifepodcast.com website and we will see you next week.
Speaker A:This is a broadcast of the Adjusting youg Life podcast produced by Adjusted Life Media.
Speaker A:All information contained in this episode and all other content provided on this channel is for informational and entertainment purposes only.
Speaker A:This content is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Speaker A:If you or someone you know is experiencing a medical emergency, please contact your local emergency services.
Speaker A:Dr. Stephen M. Ward, D.C. is a board Certified Doctor of Chiropractic Medicine licensed in the State of California, county of Los Angeles.
Speaker A:The Adjusting youg Life podcast is written and produced by Executive Producer Jamie Knapp and co produced by Kennedy hall and Dr. Steven Ward as Dr. Steve.
Speaker A:For more information or to connect with us, visit adjustingyourlifepodcast.com.
